This is so true.. So I was on the bus coming home from school just now and I had a somewhat fleeting moment of inexplicable emptiness. Then I tried grasping at things that made me happy, and logically - humanly speaking, I should be.
I’d just had a great coffee with my once-a-year Canadian friend, had dinner with Jem in school, and things were going, quite well. My Pops was just in the clear for the biopsy results (THANK GOD) :)… Socially, financially (just got more work with Google, and I might fly to the Philippines in Oct for the events).. even school-wise I’ve been really blessed with good results.
But that’s when it hits you sometimes, isn’t it? When you’re flying high and you’re supposed to be happy, at the top of your game. When things are going your way.. Right after the party when you’re at home lying in your bed, running through the day’s events, congratulating yourself. That’s when it hits you. Something feels amiss, something doesn’t feel quite right. You know you’re supposed to feel good, but suddenly an emptiness creeps in, and you start to wonder. What is it all for?
You know, I’m only 21, but I already have so many moments when I’ve experienced this. It’s a terrible feeling, knowing the things you’ve tried to make yourself happy with, aren’t working. Usually, it’s the times when I stop consciously drawing close to God, resting in Him through the day, reading His living Word… that’s when I start feeling like I’m running on empty. When I feel dry and purposeless.
How are you feeling today? At the top of your game, confident that you can solve every problem? Or are you like me, having side-stepped God for a moment, and feeling like there’s a hole in your heart? An emptiness in the soul only God can fill?
'Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” '
- John 4:13-14 (NASB)
It sounds bad. Pretty bad right?
The truth is, I reallllyyyy dislike texting. To be exact, texting on a smartphone is the biggest pain to me.
It’s like tapping on a hard surface. It doesn’t yield to the touch, it’s not a great tactile feel. Maybe I much prefer pressing buttons and feeling the spring from each digit. Smartphones just feel that much colder and nonchalant.
I did just personify my smartphone. Hm.
When I had interns, I had them text for me. That was great! I’d tell them the appointments to make, and they’d happily fire off a text to the said person. And that was that.
Moral of the story? Get an intern.
I’m kidding. I really just want people to call me. Or email! I like typing on keyboards (THAT AREN’T TOUCHSCREEN). So call me maybe?
The oddly hilarious thing is, I’m having long distance conversations with this one person. And it’s gotten along fine, better than when we were in the same country. But I just realized, it was because I could barely understand a word of what he said whenever we met or spoke on the phone. I’d end up saying ‘what?’ a lot, while he’d spend half his time explaining the explanation. We text perfectly fine though, and nothing gets lost in translation (read: mumbling). He’s probably the only person I’d rather text than hear on the phone. Hahaha.
So maybe long distance relationships work out for some people. ;)
On a somewhat related note:
Mel, why can’t you just do what Mommy says and find a nice Chinese boy IN Singapore? I don’t know, but I seem to be failing on both counts lately. God, how? It’s not that I don’t want that for myself, because I do see the difficulties involved if I choose otherwise. Culturally, from a practical standpoint…