Hi. Hello! I’m almost too good to be true. Yes you are. So ask me something. Okay who WERE you? Good start, that’s a long story. I got time. I haven’t; there’s a party I have to be at soon. Next week then? Yeah let’s talk then.
There’s an undeniable sense of safety I suppose. No games, just honest conversation. Slowly peeling a rose back, petal by delicate petal.
Leaving it to God to orchestrate the way He knows best. Understanding patience, self control, and the power of prayer.
90% can’t be bad right?
Focus Mel, focus.
Sometimes I feel like I’m one sad post away from my friends calling me to see if everything is okay.
(I am okay)… (and thank you friends)
But you know, we all have moments, micro minutes, fleeting seconds when things don’t feel all right. And that’s part of being human. And that, that’s alright.
As if number 4 wasn’t close enough of a fit. There’s this one.
Yes, what do I do with This? Why is it always, always missing a button?
God. What am I supposed to think? Feel? Help me quick! Either hand me the best sweater or pass me some thread.
Kitten. Adorable. *cuddle, squish and post*
I want to discuss something very personal that has been weighing on my heart. We all have control issues regarding SOME area of our lives. Ever felt like no matter how hard you try, the struggle to give it up to God continues?
I see some repetitive themes - for example, girls yearn for security from relationships; and guys from their career.
Frankly I never wanted to admit that I had an issue with yearning for love. I’m Mel. Some call me Ice Queen. I’m supposed to be able to deal with things and not be gushy and reliant on… of all things, a man? Apparently I’m the epitome of level-headedness and independence, to a point where I seem completely at ease with my singlehood.
But well, I know that isn’t true. I hadn’t come to terms with being single not just in this season, but like, NOW! So I determined I was going to engineer my way out of this unfortunate situation. The solution seemed simple enough, the filters ever so precise and tuned. I met some great people and for a moment, I almost laughed and said, see God? I can do this on my own.
The thing I promise you about God is that He will surprise you. And turn your world upside down the moment you think you’ve got it made. In some ways, God has a wonderful sense of humour. I’m sure I will be laughing at this a few years down the road.
Slowly, those great individuals started looking less promising. Somehow or other, each one was revealed to have a chip on their shiny veneer. Not to say they weren’t perfect - oh I know I wasn’t looking for perfect, just good enough. They were SO CLOSE but none matched up. Not even ‘good enough’.
God! What are you saying? This is ridiculous, this can’t possibly be happening. I don’t want to play games anymore please.
Today, God spoke very softly: Yes I know your struggle. But my child, I am a jealous God. I want all of you, not just that part you are happy surrendering. You could engineer love if you wanted, but you wouldn’t have the best. Give it to me, and delight in my love. Walk with me. I want to show you many wonderful things! Oh a great many indeed. Won’t you take my hand child, and let me fill you with overflowing joy.
Really, little did I know Vic also had a part to play in God’s revelation to me. She had been praying for me to see what reliance on Him looked like, and well… God really showed me. ;)
We make choices everyday. Well, from the moment we were conscious of choice; to say no, to deny someone a smile… to love.
Some haunt us still, some we take delight in.
I wonder about the choices I make. Perhaps if I chose to understand that each thought that hung in the balance was mine to make the best of, then maybe I would seize the better one.
Perhaps I would smile more, give too, and do good.
Perhaps I wouldn’t keep delaying that card to mom, or that book to whomever.
Life is short, terrifyingly fleeting. Perhaps today I will make the most of it, so help me God.
That’s really how Kuantan looks like! In a hotel room tucked in bed now, and reflecting on the day.
We travelled across hundreds of miles and saw endless rows of palm trees. A billion of them are in Malaysia alone. It was beautiful.
Back to the present… Just had a glorious worship session with my roommate. We sang through oldies and my favourites - More Beautiful, How He Loves and capped the night with Glorious Ruins.
From a state of worry and doubt, my soul is once again refreshed, my heart filled with song and praise.